U
/u/hzacinth
This might be a complete shot in the dark, but I wanted to try nonetheless.
I am a first-year college student at a university in California. When I applied for college, I chose schools in California, Japan (I’m Half-Japanese), and the Netherlands. It has been a dream of mine to go over to Europe (for an extended period, for study, for a career), but I ultimately decided to stay in California for the security of my education (cost, prestige etc). That being said, I’ve been planning a solo-trip to Europe for many years now, but I haven’t been able to propose it to my parents up until this point.
I understand that my parents (rightfully so) would be apprehensive to let me embark on a trip across Europe by myself—I am their daughter. That being said, nearly anything I do has been met with an overly-protective reaction that has denied me multiple opportunities (Exhibit A, for my high school prom they almost did not allow my friend—a trusted driver—to drive my friends and I to the prom location for 45 minutes even though everyone else’s parents agreed with the carpool…in the end they let me go, but not without telling me the weight of guilt that would be on their conscious if things went wrong…which in turn guilt-tripped me. By the way, the year prior they personally carpooled my best friend and I separately from all of our other friends because they wouldn’t let my friend drive us). This is just one example of the lengths they will go to, often refusing to provide an appropriate reason.
Here is the situation. Up until recently, I would have had to traverse Europe all by myself (a prospect I was technically okay with, but to have company would surely be nice too). It would obviously be very difficult to convince my parents to approve of this.
However, I have been granted with a rare opportunity—I daresay, a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The day after I received the news that my dog peacefully passed away, I was walking through my college campus when a boy complimented the vintage capelet I was wearing. I gave my thanks and continued walking, but he called out to me once more to ask me where I got it from. This is a condensed rendition, yet as an individual who had never before been swept away from my pragmatic values by the emotion of fondness for another, just one week after our first interaction, I confessed wholeheartedly that I was fond of him. The rest is history.
And thus, my opportunity: My boyfriend, who was raised in and resides in the U.K. (we both attend the same university in California), has offered to take me around Europe where we have secure lodging among his relatives (he is half-Danish). My safety would be guaranteed given that I have both a guide and I’m traveling with a man. Furthermore, the expenses of the trip would be cut in half because we could split the cost of Airbnb’s if we have to find housing of our own.
I have very loving parents (to which I am extremely grateful for), but they can be overly-protective and dismissive of my passions.
About a month ago, I proposed this idea to my father. He seemed okay with the idea of me traveling to Europe (keep in mind, this is basically how my parents met in the first place…they too were young ambitious travelers. My father is from America, he studied abroad in Japan, but traveled to Paris to get in touch with ‘culture’. My mother Is from Japan and she traveled to Paris to learn French…they met in somewhat fairytale circumstances and they figured out that they both spoke Japanese. They fell in love, then married). However, he said that my mother would not approve of the idea, therefore he would not. At the time, he mentioned that the only leverage I have is saying that I’ll get an internship during the summer of my sophomore year (which makes complete sense, because come sophomore year college gets more serious and I need to explore career options). In the end, I asked him to truly consider my proposal, to which he wholeheartedly said he would.
A few days ago, I called my father again to discuss my summer proposal in the bedding section of a Macy’s department store. While I called him, my boyfriend was taking a nap on a display bed.
On this recent phone call, I was told that I would not be allowed to go (for a plethora of reasons I cannot explain nor abridge here). Importantly, none of these reasons were practical enough. I was truly upset with the phone call, but not because of what I heard, but because of what I didn’t. I felt as though there were so many holes to the reasoning…I planned an organized trip with guaranteed safety, lodging, and I offered to pay for the whole thing myself, yet they still would not approve.
I completely understand that my parents want my summer break to be spent productively (which I agree with…I hate having nothing to do), but I see issue with the fact that getting a summer job and wasting away in my household (which, by the way, will be practically empty because both of my parents are abroad/traveling) is somehow considered more productive than engaging in a international experience where I am sure to learn more (culturally, linguistically, cognitively) and challenge myself to something new. I have spent the last four years and summers studying, working, or doing an internship at the expense of my well-being….and even though my parents will often say things like “you need to stop pushing yourself so hard….why did you take all of those AP classes??”, I know deep down that they prefer me overworking myself than doing nothing.
Anyways, after I finished this latest call, I was so close to accepting my fate for the summer. I calmed down a bit. I walked over to wake up my boyfriend. I looked down and saw him peacefully sleeping. The previous minutes of attempting to cope with the situation crumbled away in seconds. In that moment, I understood that I would not accept no for an answer, as I’ve done for the past 19 years of my life. The lovely boy that he is, he never inquired about the phone call (he was aware of the subject matter).
It’s not that I can’t cope should I not get to go this year. I could always technically deal with going next summer. But the thing is, I once told my boyfriend that beautiful moments are beautiful because we let them go, because we allow their beauty to exist within a certain time. But I don’t want to let this opportunity go—because it isn’t beautiful yet.
Because I still wish to be in the good graces of my parents and I do not wish to do anything to upset them, I will not impulsively purchase a ticket and beg for forgiveness afterwards. I have very loving parents, to which I am extremely grateful for, but they can be overly-protective and dismissive of my passions. I am rational at heart and I have arrived upon another proposal, one that cannot be refused unless there is some extenuating reason they are not telling me.
I’ve determined that the only way for my parents to let me go is if I somehow attain an internship position abroad, or I magically produce 2000 dollars. The latter is obviously impossible, therefore I’m opting for the first.
I’m asking you people on this sub to please help me. If anyone here knows how I can secure an internship in the U.K in literally any field whatsoever—I am mainly into reading/writing, publication/journalism, social content management, graphic design, social science research, academia (super into history, social theory, museum/archival work), but I would also be interested in investment banking firms etc—please pm me. Or if you have any other opportunities I should know about I would be eternally grateful, or even ways to generate money.
I love this boy. Please help me find a way to love him more.
submitted by /u/hzacinth
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...
I am a first-year college student at a university in California. When I applied for college, I chose schools in California, Japan (I’m Half-Japanese), and the Netherlands. It has been a dream of mine to go over to Europe (for an extended period, for study, for a career), but I ultimately decided to stay in California for the security of my education (cost, prestige etc). That being said, I’ve been planning a solo-trip to Europe for many years now, but I haven’t been able to propose it to my parents up until this point.
I understand that my parents (rightfully so) would be apprehensive to let me embark on a trip across Europe by myself—I am their daughter. That being said, nearly anything I do has been met with an overly-protective reaction that has denied me multiple opportunities (Exhibit A, for my high school prom they almost did not allow my friend—a trusted driver—to drive my friends and I to the prom location for 45 minutes even though everyone else’s parents agreed with the carpool…in the end they let me go, but not without telling me the weight of guilt that would be on their conscious if things went wrong…which in turn guilt-tripped me. By the way, the year prior they personally carpooled my best friend and I separately from all of our other friends because they wouldn’t let my friend drive us). This is just one example of the lengths they will go to, often refusing to provide an appropriate reason.
Here is the situation. Up until recently, I would have had to traverse Europe all by myself (a prospect I was technically okay with, but to have company would surely be nice too). It would obviously be very difficult to convince my parents to approve of this.
However, I have been granted with a rare opportunity—I daresay, a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The day after I received the news that my dog peacefully passed away, I was walking through my college campus when a boy complimented the vintage capelet I was wearing. I gave my thanks and continued walking, but he called out to me once more to ask me where I got it from. This is a condensed rendition, yet as an individual who had never before been swept away from my pragmatic values by the emotion of fondness for another, just one week after our first interaction, I confessed wholeheartedly that I was fond of him. The rest is history.
And thus, my opportunity: My boyfriend, who was raised in and resides in the U.K. (we both attend the same university in California), has offered to take me around Europe where we have secure lodging among his relatives (he is half-Danish). My safety would be guaranteed given that I have both a guide and I’m traveling with a man. Furthermore, the expenses of the trip would be cut in half because we could split the cost of Airbnb’s if we have to find housing of our own.
I have very loving parents (to which I am extremely grateful for), but they can be overly-protective and dismissive of my passions.
About a month ago, I proposed this idea to my father. He seemed okay with the idea of me traveling to Europe (keep in mind, this is basically how my parents met in the first place…they too were young ambitious travelers. My father is from America, he studied abroad in Japan, but traveled to Paris to get in touch with ‘culture’. My mother Is from Japan and she traveled to Paris to learn French…they met in somewhat fairytale circumstances and they figured out that they both spoke Japanese. They fell in love, then married). However, he said that my mother would not approve of the idea, therefore he would not. At the time, he mentioned that the only leverage I have is saying that I’ll get an internship during the summer of my sophomore year (which makes complete sense, because come sophomore year college gets more serious and I need to explore career options). In the end, I asked him to truly consider my proposal, to which he wholeheartedly said he would.
A few days ago, I called my father again to discuss my summer proposal in the bedding section of a Macy’s department store. While I called him, my boyfriend was taking a nap on a display bed.
On this recent phone call, I was told that I would not be allowed to go (for a plethora of reasons I cannot explain nor abridge here). Importantly, none of these reasons were practical enough. I was truly upset with the phone call, but not because of what I heard, but because of what I didn’t. I felt as though there were so many holes to the reasoning…I planned an organized trip with guaranteed safety, lodging, and I offered to pay for the whole thing myself, yet they still would not approve.
I completely understand that my parents want my summer break to be spent productively (which I agree with…I hate having nothing to do), but I see issue with the fact that getting a summer job and wasting away in my household (which, by the way, will be practically empty because both of my parents are abroad/traveling) is somehow considered more productive than engaging in a international experience where I am sure to learn more (culturally, linguistically, cognitively) and challenge myself to something new. I have spent the last four years and summers studying, working, or doing an internship at the expense of my well-being….and even though my parents will often say things like “you need to stop pushing yourself so hard….why did you take all of those AP classes??”, I know deep down that they prefer me overworking myself than doing nothing.
Anyways, after I finished this latest call, I was so close to accepting my fate for the summer. I calmed down a bit. I walked over to wake up my boyfriend. I looked down and saw him peacefully sleeping. The previous minutes of attempting to cope with the situation crumbled away in seconds. In that moment, I understood that I would not accept no for an answer, as I’ve done for the past 19 years of my life. The lovely boy that he is, he never inquired about the phone call (he was aware of the subject matter).
It’s not that I can’t cope should I not get to go this year. I could always technically deal with going next summer. But the thing is, I once told my boyfriend that beautiful moments are beautiful because we let them go, because we allow their beauty to exist within a certain time. But I don’t want to let this opportunity go—because it isn’t beautiful yet.
Because I still wish to be in the good graces of my parents and I do not wish to do anything to upset them, I will not impulsively purchase a ticket and beg for forgiveness afterwards. I have very loving parents, to which I am extremely grateful for, but they can be overly-protective and dismissive of my passions. I am rational at heart and I have arrived upon another proposal, one that cannot be refused unless there is some extenuating reason they are not telling me.
I’ve determined that the only way for my parents to let me go is if I somehow attain an internship position abroad, or I magically produce 2000 dollars. The latter is obviously impossible, therefore I’m opting for the first.
I’m asking you people on this sub to please help me. If anyone here knows how I can secure an internship in the U.K in literally any field whatsoever—I am mainly into reading/writing, publication/journalism, social content management, graphic design, social science research, academia (super into history, social theory, museum/archival work), but I would also be interested in investment banking firms etc—please pm me. Or if you have any other opportunities I should know about I would be eternally grateful, or even ways to generate money.
I love this boy. Please help me find a way to love him more.
submitted by /u/hzacinth
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...
